


time for the two of us

by monogalya



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 01:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12244257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monogalya/pseuds/monogalya
Summary: Originally it was just a habit, a cigarette every now and then, but things happened and Otabek became dependent on the nicotine. It spiraled down into an addiction.





	time for the two of us

A better view would be nice. Otabek thought that Yuri would appreciate it as well, so he began walking in the opposite direction of their planned destination, earning a “hey, wrong direction, asshole” from Yuri. Otabek kept walking and Yuri followed eventually. He explained that it was a quick detour and that the new destination was a surprise.

Yuri responded with a pout.

“You’ll like it,” was all the assurance Otabek provided.

Yuri visited during the off-season. They had a couple days to themselves in Almaty. Nothing was particularly new to Otabek, he’d seen it all before, but what made it special was that Yuri was there with him, and for him, everything was new.

The surprise destination was a rooftop. Otabek wanted Yuri to admire the sight of the sunset fading out and becoming darkness, let him be mesmerized by the view of a city that was still glowing at night with calm, amber tones of light.

“Holy shit,” was all Yuri said for a while, and Otabek knew that Yuri was seeing everything he saw in the city. Stars above, lights below. He was feeling everything he felt. Gentle wind rushing by, teasing the hair on their heads. The way the breeze tossed Yuri’s blonde hair back now, slightly moving the strands covering his green eyes, took him back to the beginning of their friendship, when they were enjoying the view of Barcelona from Park Guell.

While Yuri took photos to post on social media and to remember his time here, Otabek stepped away and lit a cigarette. He had avoided smoking whenever he was around Yuri, but he felt like he needed one at the moment. Maybe it was because of the altitude, the crisp night air, the fact that Yuri was standing so close by. The desire to smoke felt like an itch, a craving. He didn’t know. It was dark enough for the sparks and embers to stand out, but he could still see the smoke curling around him clear as day when he exhaled.

“That shit will kill you,” Yuri said.

It wasn’t a positive comment, one didn’t converse with Yuri Plisetsky and expect positive comments. Despite that, Otabek chuckled to himself.

“That’s not something to laugh at, asshole,” Yuri said. “You’re shortening your life right now.”

Before he lit the cigarette, Otabek was worried that he would need to convince Yuri not to smoke. He thought Yuri would see his unhealthy habit and want to try it because it was cool, badass, mischievous. Evidently that was not going to be an issue. He had been concerned for no reason.

“You’re right,” Otabek admitted. The cigarettes would likely end his life sooner than expected.

“Of course I am. So why the fuck are you still smoking?” Yuri demanded.

Yuri hated inhaling the toxic air, Otabek knew that as he breathed out and the grey puffs surrounded the two of them. Yuri was glaring. He wanted him to put out the cigarette. Otabek was aware of that but he kept the cigarette between his fingers. He wasn’t letting go yet. Just another hit, he needed one more drag, just one.

* * *

 

Otabek told himself that it was only a habit, not an addiction. Addicts smoked a pack every day. He didn’t even smoke daily. He had it under control.

Until he didn’t.

The problem was that their relationship was not normal and it could never be normal. As the months went by, Otabek realized that Yuri’s career would always be the priority, without a doubt. Yuri was a record-breaking skating champion first, then a friend second. The time that they had together was always in-between time. The time between competitions, exhibitions, training sessions, flights across the globe. Both Otabek and Yuri prioritized their skating careers at the expense of their friendship. More time stretching, more time for ballet, more time spent on the rink. Less time on motorcycle rides, less time at concerts, never enough time for them.

Not being able to see Yuri, someone Otabek wanted to constantly be around, was killing him.

The cigarettes were the only thing keeping Otabek together for now, though they were killing him as well. He was a fragile mess, barely held together by the cigarette smoke laced around him.

So, more and more cigarettes. He needed them. Each hit made it easier to breathe, even though he knew his lungs were crumbling on the inside.

* * *

 

The last time they saw each other was in St. Petersburg, which felt like ages ago. Otabek had smoked to pass the time until this day when they’re finally in the same city again spending time together. They’re walking down a street on the way back to Otabek’s motorcycle. He remembered where he parked it. He just wasn’t sure how to get there. He lit a cigarette.

“Hey,” Yuri said. “This isn’t cool. Last time I saw you, you only had one cigarette. You’ve had three so far today.”

Otabek fumbled to check the time. “Actually, it’s my first. The day started about four hours ago.”

Yuri snorted. “Smoke earlier, are you trying to die earlier?”

Otabek stopped staring at the cigarette between his fingers for a moment to chuckle, laugh, and smile at Yuri. Yuri didn’t quite return the smile, or at least, not in the same way. When they broke eye contact and Otabek looked away, his eyes landed on his motorcycle and he let out a cloudy breath of relief.

Found it, at last.

He began to walk faster, but not before noticing Yuri purse one side of his lips, something he had never seen him do before. He looked concerned. They stopped walking and Yuri leaned against the motorcycle.

“I’m not an idiot, I can tell that you’re smoking a lot more. I see your hands reaching for more all the time and I know you’re only stopping yourself because of me.”

Yuri stared down at the ground with furrowed eyebrows.

“I guess I just want to know if you’re okay,” he said.

Otabek breathed out a trail of smoke and shook his head. “I’m not.”

Part of him regretted admitting it, because he saw something break in Yuri’s expression for a moment. Even if it was unintentional, even if it was the truth, it hurt Yuri, and Otabek couldn’t help but beat himself up for that.

But, like the soldier he was, Yuri’s expression changed again, and he nodded as if accepting Otabek’s response, accepting that Otabek wasn’t okay and deciding that they could handle this together.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Yuri said.

Yuri was looking him right in the eyes, Otabek noticed. His arms were crossed and he spoke low, felt no need to yell like he did around Viktor and Yuuri. Yuri was serious and genuine, in complete control of his words and emotions, not being provoked by JJ to scream a medley of insults and curses. Everything Yuri was saying now was real, he meant it.

Otabek nodded.

“So what’s wrong?” Yuri asked.

Otabek trusted Yuri and was comfortable talking to him, but he still debated whether he should tell Yuri everything. He had confessed his feelings in the past to other people. He thought it to be less complicated for him than for other people. Lots of his friends complained about it being difficult, nerve-wracking, and generally awkward, but for Otabek, it was simply a sincere statement of your feelings for the person, which wasn’t too torturous for him.

Up until now, Otabek never had to explain an addiction to someone. He was finally experiencing all the anxiety his friends had over confessions.

The cigarette helped with that. It made him feel better, more relaxed at least, and it was easier to tell Yuri everything.

_I love you. You’re right. I can’t stop reaching for the next cigarette. I’ve been trying not to, but every time I see you through a screen I can’t stand not actually being there with you and not seeing your eyes without a lens and too much distance separating us._

That was the gist of what he said. There was a lot more to it of course, so much more he said, because when it came to loving Yuri and possibly losing him, Otabek had plenty to say. Yuri listened to it all, regardless.

And this was Yuri’s response.

He snatched the cigarette from Otabek’s hand, threw in on the ground, stomped on it with defiance. Covered Otabek’s lips with his and kissed him, despite Otabek’s burning mouth and the nicotine, the tobacco smoke, every single chemical there. Yuri breathed everything in.

Otabek knew how Yuri felt. Without Yuri having to speak at all, Otabek knew it all. He could tell through everything he did. The way Yuri slid his hands along his jaw, the way he tilted Otabek’s chin up, the way he smiled against his lips when Otabek snaked his arms around his waist.

_I hate when we’re apart too. Fuck that. I need you, I need to always be around you. I know you’re trying to stop and I know it won’t happen instantly, but we’ll deal with this together. I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> yet another bad fic uploaded around midnight yayyyy  
> hope you liked it


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